Not Good, but Great

"I care not so much what I am to others as what I am to myself. I will be rich by myself, and not by borrowing." 

~Michel de Montaigne

I got stuck in the muck of not good enough. 

By Ralf Schulze from Koblenz, Germany, from Wikimedia Commons

I waded into a pit filled with quicksand that looked deceptively like my studio but held the promise of so much more because I could see the oasis that others were splashing around in and I wanted to be there, too. Have you ever felt that way?

There were tantalizing opportunities and exciting adventures just out of my grasp, swinging from vines above my head. I spent so much time looking up at their juicy goodness that I forgot to look down and see where I was standing in my own place and time. So I got stuck.

I couldn't move forward and I couldn't back out. I struggled.
 
Every time I wiggled a bit and twisted this way and that to reach for those experiences and test my focus I mired myself deeper. Wanting to go where others are leading rather than following my own path without regard for those distractions started to pull me down. I could see what others were doing and I wanted that.

Envy is a tantalizing mistress.Always just out of my reach and wouldn't you know it? She is no help in getting unstuck.
 
There is never enough time in a day to do it all. It is too easy to say yes, and dang hard to say no. It is my disregard for the necessary boundaries of saying no that caused me to put added weight on my own shoulders. These weights started to pull me down into the muck. I started to say mucky things like, "I'm not good enough" or  "I will never be able to catch up" or "I wish I could be more (fill in the blank)." But what was I trying to catch up to and why did I want to be something that I am not?

The muck brings out the yuck in you. I started to think about all those things that I am not good at. But then I thought, hey wait a minute! I am great at other things! So I started a list....

• I am not good with math, but I am great with words.
• I am not good at keeping my house clean, but I am great at laughing with my children.
• I am not good at making Jell-O, but I am great at making Chocolate Chunk Banana Nut Crunch Bread.
• I am not good at putting things away, but I am great at making a Jenga-esque mountain of dishes drying in the sink.
• I am not good at filing paperwork, but I am great at writing thank you notes to my customers.
• I am not good at putting a limit on my spending, but I am great at finding unbelievable bargains (like the Chico's jacket I picked up for... $2.38 the other day! Score!).
• I am not good at folding the laundry (see the comment above about putting things away), but I am great at changing the sheets on the bed (even if it should happen more than it probably does!).
• I am not good at playing basketball, but I am great at cheering.
• I am not good at dancing (so says Tiny Dancer), but I am great at singing.
• I am not good at making jewelry every day, but I am great at staying up until the wee hours doing creative things.
• I am not good at washing my face every night, but I am great at moisturizing when I do.
• I am not good at arriving early, but I am great at staying late.
• I am not good at focusing sometimes, but I am great at listening.
• I am not good at reading all the books that I buy, but I am great at loaning them out to people.
• I am not good at estimating my time for a project, but I am great at getting the details right.
• I am not good at sticking to a movement regime (the 'e' word makes me shudder), but I am great at making pledges to myself that I will be. 
• I am not good at taking on more than I can handle, but I am great at finishing what I start (even if it takes me forever to do it!). 
• I am not good at following directions, but I am great at figuring things out.

I want to get into the mindset of 'relishing in my uniqueness' as my friend Heather so wonderfully put it. I am not here to compete with others for anything... not the neighborhood I live in, or the virtual street corner I hang out on. I need to remind myself that I am content with who I am and what I am doing and although I would like to control the plan and where I am going, I need to stop and remember that I am unfolding exactly as I am meant to be.

I am not here to set the pace for anyone but myself, even if I have set that pace a bit too frantic for my own tastes lately, thank you very much. I need to take time for me, to relax, to reconnect, to revive (and I will this coming weekend!). I need to remember that it matters more if I look inward and set my internal compass to point me in the right direction than it does if I am following close behind a pace car that I am not driving. Because I know that I may not be good enough in some areas, but I am great in others. And that is exactly who I am meant to be.

So, what about you?
What are you not good at... but great at?
Do tell!

Oh, and before I forget! Lucky #7 comment is the redemption winner from the last post! (That's you, Deb, of Green Shoot Jewellry Designs in the UK!) You win one of my 'simple truths' pendants because you took the time to add your email address so we could continue the conversation!

Email me (enjoytheday{at}tesoritrovati{dot}com) your contact information and your choice of either one of the pendants for sale in my Etsy shop (retail value $12 or less) or what you would like to see on a custom one and I shall make it happen!

Enjoy the day!